The Daily Vigil, 8/7/17: Mark Zuckerberg, the Facebook Candidate
The Daily Vigil

The Daily Vigil, 8/7/17: Mark Zuckerberg, the Facebook Candidate

By on August 7, 2017


"Can't you feel the excitement, fellow humans?! :D"

The Zuckerberg Candidacy: If you haven’t heard about this latest piece of news, then I envy you. Reportedly, Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook (did I really just have to mention where he’s from?) has been eyeing a potential Presidential run in 2020. This has been nothing more than a fun little bridge-of-your-nose-pinching rumor for some time, until he recently hired some of Hillary’s old campaign people and jesus christ can we not do this? Do we have to seriously consider the possibility that another billionaire is going to be our President in three years? I mean, the man’s already gone on a 50-state road trip because he just felt like meeting everyday people from each state in the Union- totally normal, right guys?



The Nationwide Dislike Button: Now remember, we live in the timeline in which President Pussy-Grabber is currently on another 17-day vacation, so anything is possible… but I don’t think The Zuck is actually going to win anything. Recent polls say that folks aren’t sure if they’d vote for Zuckerberg over Trump in a hypothetical 2020 matchup, but consider what that means. There’s less and less in-between regarding Americans’ thoughts on Trump; you either really love him, or you really don’t. Those that love him will always vote Trump, and those that don’t would probably vote for a literal bowl of oatmeal before voting for The Donald, given the option. For Zuck to have almost 50% of respondents say they’re “not sure” what they think about him, in this day and age?

I’m not even convinced he’d actually run, at the end of the day. If you’re so unpopular that people don’t even see you as an Eject Button from the Presidency of Donald Trump, why expose yourself to the grinding schedule and drama of a Presidential run?

But even if he doesn’t ultimately run, I don’t think the Democrats are going to let him pass through quietly. The opportunity to use him as a means to an end is too great.


Heel, Boy! In wrestling, there’s a certain type of character called the Heel. Essentially they’re the marketed Bad Guy, someone to cheer against. And Zuckerberg would make a really, really good Heel for a candidate like Kamala Harris or Cory Booker- whether Zuck would want to be or not. And let me preface this by saying that I do not believe that Zuckerberg is secretly in cahoots with either of these two people, or the DNC at large. I’m just observing that, for a DNC that may very well try to coronate either Harris or Booker, Zuckerberg makes for a very attractive “liberal bad guy”.

Think about it. Dude’s a billionaire (strike one), he’s never served his country before (strike two), and there’s a case to be made that Facebook had a critical role in the spread of pro-Trump propaganda (strike three!) and hasn’t done anything about it until very recently. The DNC could position either Harris or Booker as running against Zuckerberg in the Primary regardless whether the man actually runs or not. “Aren’t you glad your nominee isn’t him?” And by making all their noise against Zuck, they’d effectively be downplaying the legitimacy of whatever candidate the Left has rallied behind.

Look. Believe it or not, this isn’t about bashing Harris, Booker or Zuckerberg. This is about what I believe the DNC is prepared to do to make their preferred candidates most likely to win, and I absolutely believe that they would tacitly support Zuck’s run at first only to turn on him as it gets closer to the election. I bring this up not to garner sympathy for Zuckerberg- I’m pretty sure he’ll be fine- but to warn y’all heathens ahead of time.


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